Tony...

Yesterday morning my dear, eternal friend Tony Peers passed away from pancreatic cancer. It's difficult for me to find words to describe how I feel at this moment and how much I already miss her. I'm just absolutely grateful she came into my life. In so many ways she helped me become the person I am today. I owe so much to her and because of that I am truly grateful I had the opportunity in church this morning to give a brief talk about the importance of members doing missionary work. As I told stories about how Steve and Tony Peers fellowshipped me into the church, I felt this overwhelming since of strength and comfort. I knew I had just paid a great honor to Tony's memory. And so it is, I find myself filled with more kindness, more joy, more willingness to serve, more love, and the overwhelming desire to radiate all of this to others, as Tony did to me.

I love you, Tony...

First Year Teacher Phases

According to "The Evolution of a Teacher" these are the phases a first year teacher goes through. I would like to think I'm ahead of the curve. Well, I was feeling that way before this week.

This week I had multiple difficulties with parents of my students. First, I learned first-hand how difficult it can be to have a student come from such a dysfunctional family that CPS needs to step in - heartbreaking... I had another parent leave an angry message on my voicemail at work. So not fun. Then this Saturday at my basketball game I had another parent seemingly undermine everything I was trying to do. So in short, again, not fun.

But that's okay. I let these events get to me (Saturday afternoon I let myself have a good cry about everything), but after a great Sunday I'm refreshed and ready to take on the world. Bring on the week! :)

Basketball

Yesterday was my first official game as a basketball coach, and it was a pretty good experience if I do say so myself.

Growing up I loved basketball. I was so excited when I got my first basketball for Christmas. It was during the same year the WNBA was created, so of course the basketball itself was an official women's size, regulation WNBA basketball. I loved that thing and the sport so much I even tried sleeping with the ball. That often did not work and the ball would end up in the floor, but my heart was in the game.

I think I reached the peak of my basketball abilities around my sophomore year of high school. I That was also about time I realized my priorities and my goals for the future had changed, and I looked forward to other adventures in life. I continued to play basketball, and after high school came to love basketball more for the pure enjoyment of it, rather than to become a super-star player.

That is one reason I wanted to help coach the 5th/6th grade girls town league. Besides that I just like being involved and having fun with the girls. The league really isn't anything too serious. We just play one or two games every Saturday morning with no practices during the week. I have a seven players, so every girl gets lots of playing time. It's really great cheering the girls on, giving them a few words of advice here and there, and seeing big smiles on their faces because there is no pressure of winning or losing (even though we do keep score - but don't make a big deal out of it) and for some it's their first time ever playing on an organized basketball team.
And for our first game yesterday my girls were stellar. They had so much fun and played great basektball.

It was also awesome to have my parents and Matt be there. Matt of course is always supportive. I love how the first thing he noticed was how one of my players had a huge smile on her face the whole game. That made me proud. My mom noticed how a happy dad came up to me right away after the game to introduce himself and shake my hand. She also noticed how I helped one of my girls with shooting free throws during half time, after she airballed two of them during the game. All she needed to remember to do was bend her knees. The next time she shot a free-throw she made it :) I also knew my dad was enjoying himself seeing me out there having fun with the girls because he always enjoyed and supported me as a player. It was wonderful to have these special people in my life see me participate in an experience that was already becoming a very special part of me.

So it's pretty awesome to see my career in basketball come full circle. Sure I didn't become the next Tina Thompson or Cheryl Swoope like I use to dream about, but I tell you what I wouldn't have it any other way.

My Neighbor

I have the cutest neighbor there is! I love my house, I love my job, but one thing that just makes Alturas 100x better is my neighbor, Johnny Looper. She is one of the dearest elderly women I know.

The first time I met her was the day my family and I moved everything in. Before I knew she was bringing fried chicken and all the fixings over for the whole crew for lunch. Her outpouring of kindness doesn't stop there. One day she noticed my car was still in the driveway when I should have been at school. She called me right away to see if I was feeling well. I told her I had decided to stay home that because I had the stomach flu. She brought me a survival kit right away. Last night, she knew I was having company over for dinner and she brought me dessert to serve. Now how sweet is she!

It has been a really blessing to have Johnny in my life now because she has become more than a great neighbor or an adoptive "grandma," she's become a friend. As she is a widow and two of her three children have passed away, we have both shared with each other our feelings of loneliness we have had at times, and we have come up with plans to keep each other busy. She always wants me to come over to just visit. Yesterday she actually called me over just to check out her carpet that had just been shampooed. She was so proud of it. Next, she is planning on teaching me to play penuckle.

Johnny is one of the reasons I feel so comfortable and at home here in Alturas. Here you don't have to worry about age being a reason you aren't close with someone. If you go to a football game, you can sit with whoever you want, young or old. Everyone is neighbors, everyone is friends, and everyone is family.

It feels like today...

This New Year's weekend, I've been thinking a lot about routine. To some routine can have a negative connotation. It can meaning boring and repetitious. However, to me this year I could be just the ticket I need.

With all the huge happenings in my life during 2009, starting with PACT, student teaching, finding a job, graduating, writing and finishing my thesis, moving, getting settled into a new branch, and finally starting a new job I haven't had a whole lot of stability this past year. As a result, by the end of the year I was just feeling overwhelmed and that I couldn't do just about anything right. The truth was I didn't create a whole lot of routine.

As 2009 ended last week I was reminded of a very, small precious truth that I have the power, with the Lord's help, to accomplish anything. It's funny how the Lord can remind you of this in some of the craziest points in your life. First, I was just feeling so crazy about Matt and my relationship. I love him so much and was feeling like I couldn't be absolutely happy unless he married me now. I realized this is not true. Matt has chosen to go on a mission and I am so proud of him for that. Through the help of others and the Lord I have realized that through my diligence and faith I can come to view the time that Matt will be gone as him not only being on his mission, but "our mission." This will be a time for me to grow in so many ways, no matter how long it takes, for me to become the strong woman I know I can be. I have chosen to completely commit myself to being with Matt and will support him in his effort to do as he know he is commanded to do.

Second, I found out my dear "Mormon Mom" Tony Peers was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. I had the blessing of being able to spend a couple of days with Tony, Steve, and the rest of the family a couple of days after I found out. No matter what I knew it was important for me to see Tony and Steve, but what I didn't realize before I arrived was how much the Lord wanted me to learn from that. The Peers are such strong people with firm testimonies who have always stood for me as as example of what I want to achieve in mortality. I'll never forget when Tony looked at me and said, "Carolyn, isn't amazing that I'm on to my next journey." Even though I feel so much sorrow, I truly do find it amazing also! I want to stand as a witness of this truth and be the same wonderful example to others as Tony is to me.

So what do these things have to do with setting a routine. Maybe not a whole lot on the outside, but I'm learning that I can do anything when I put my mind to it, and that means starting new today. Waking up every morning and saying, "Today is going to be a fantastic day and I can do it," and then getting up doing all of those things I have committed myself to doing. I am capable of achieving anything I put my mind to, and feel more strength to do that than ever before.